Eyajohanna's home birth

August 16, 2023

By Eyajohanna Emmelin Korch Saxe
The week and a half leading up to the birth I was about to go crazy. I really struggled to trust my instincts and my body’s many signals. I sought support and advice from my midwife and my doula.

Whole During pregnancy, I had a strong feeling that I would give birth at the end of October, and as the time approached, there were more and more signs that it would probably happen. Exactly a week before little brother came into the world, I had regular strong Braxton Hicks contractions for 4 hours at night. But suddenly the contractions stopped, and we fell asleep again by 5 o'clock. Completely confused and disappointed, I woke up Friday morning and thought it was all really stupid.

I decided to completely let go of the idea and expectation that I would give birth before the due date on 3.11. I made plans with friends and booked an exciting seminar I had been eyeing for a long time. In general, I tried to pretend that little brother's arrival wasn't just around the corner.

On Wednesday the 24/10 I keep Valdemar home from kindergarten. We have a real Valdemar-and-mum day with a trip to the zoo, cake-eating and cosy drawing time. That evening I go to bed with great trust that the birth will find its way when we are all ready.

At 01:20 on 25.10, I wake up with restlessness. I need to pee really badly and on the way to the bathroom, I have a strong Braxton Hicks contraction as I have had so often before. I brush it off and lie back in bed between Valdemar and Rasmus.

I start to shake a little as if I’m cold, and the restlessness grows. Another strong Braxton Hicks contraction… I take a gelsemium from my homeopathic birth kit. I try to sleep. The shaking stops.

Half an hour later I need to pee again. As I get up from the bed, my water breaks. It’s 1:53 a.m. I gently wake Rasmus.

The experience from last time means we get up straight away and start getting the birth pool ready to fill. We have something to eat and Rasmus takes a shower.

I have a few strong Braxton Hicks contractions, maybe 20–30 minutes apart. I really feel as if I need to go to the toilet but can’t. So I decide to take an enema straight away. Then it’s done. It made room.

We notify the midwife, doula, photographer and grandma. But my doula friend’s phone is turned off. We try several times. We also call her husband but can’t get through. I start to feel uneasy.

Everything comes to a halt. No activity in the uterus. At 3 AM, we go back to bed. Rasmus quickly falls asleep. I can't really sleep even though there are no contractions. After an hour and a half of tossing and turning, I get up.

It’s 4:30 a.m. I make a cup of tea and find my audio tracks with relaxation and visualisations. I sit down on the sofa with a candle lit and listen to the tracks. I connect with little brother in my belly. “If you’re ready, so am I. You just have to show me the way,” I manage to say to him. I have two small contractions while I’m sitting there.

At 5:20 a.m. Valdemar wakes up. “What are you doing, Mum?” I go in to him and tell him that my water has broken and little brother is definitely coming today. He gets absolutely overjoyed. We stay in bed for another hour just cuddling. I have two more small contractions. Rasmus and Valdemar get up and make breakfast. At 6:30 I finally fall asleep. At 7 o’clock Valdemar wakes me with breakfast. I have the first real contraction. It pinches in front just like I remember from Valdemar’s birth.

I manage to eat a simple meal. The phone rings and my doula friend is on the other end. She had accidentally put it on flight mode that night. But now she’s ready and can be here within 30–40 minutes.

I can feel the contractions really taking hold now. When my midwife arrives at 7:40 I’m having contractions about every 10 minutes. I use my breathing and I’m overjoyed that they’re finally getting strong. I’m 3 cm dilated. The head is low. No bloody show. Little brother is doing brilliantly. Valdemar strokes me and talks to me calmly.

The contractions intensify. I lean against Rasmus. It already feels heavy. I get chili patches on my front and lower back. But feel no relief. The patches come off again. I just have to get into the water now. The photographer and my mother have arrived. It’s 8:45 a.m.

The candles have been lit in the dark living room. The candle for Aunt Katrine, who is in heaven, stands on my little birth altar with flowers, photos and my chakra stones. Bach’s Rescue drops go into the water together with the salt.

I can get in. The warmth surrounds my body. I find a calm. The contractions are allowed to take hold. They become more frequent. I lean on Rasmus.

Valdemar wants to get in the pool with me. It is so amazing to share this experience with him. He has been looking forward to it SO much. He has been waiting for his little brother and just wants to be there to welcome him. He stays completely cool when I’m having contractions.

My breathing becomes more and more roaring. The movements more intense. I feel little brother rotating and pushing down. Still no bloody show. It really burns at the front over the pubic bone. I examine myself internally. His head is low, probably 5–6 cm up, but my cervix is only 4–5 cm dilated. Tight and not at all yielding. I get scared. It feels as if the uterus doesn’t want to let go. I have to get up. Out to the toilet. It’s 9:30 a.m.

The next 4 contractions are monstrously intense. Everything is tearing through my body. I move quickly. Stamp on the floor and twist my pelvis. Then it lets go. Like a whoosh. I get a show of blood and feel his head pressing further down.

Back in the bathtub. I am struck by fear and reluctance. "I don't want this. I'm scared. It feels wrong." My helpers are there. They support me, and I don't feel alone at any point. But it's my fear, and only I can overcome it. I can feel the pushing phase approaching. I get some intense pains shooting up through my back and around my sacrum. It feels like something will snap or tear if I push. All I can do is pant with each contraction. It's 10 o'clock.

I talk to little brother in my belly. “Not so fast. Give me a bit of time. I’ll make room for you. Just not too fast. I just need to catch up.” For the next 20 minutes it’s completely quiet in the living room. Everyone sits around the pool just holding the space for me. The calm music in the background is regularly drowned out by my gasps. Rasmus holds my foot, but otherwise it’s just little brother and me working together in the most beautiful way. I pant through each contraction and push very gently in the breaks.

For the last 3 contractions I get on my knees in the pool. I can feel his lovely head full of hair. I stroke him while he’s right there. Ready to receive him. With the next contraction he slides out to me and immediately reaches his arms up towards me.

I did it!! I conquered my fear and got to experience the calmest pushing stage ever.

We light a candle for him and sing him welcome to the world. “Sig himlen glædes hver gang på jord, et menneskebarn skal fødes”

Say hello to August. Born 25.10.18 at 10:35. After 3.5 hours of intense contractions.